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( 1 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

Riley is 6 weeks today. [07 Dec 2009|02:25am]
Me: I want to be pregnant again..

Jeremy: You shut your mouth.

Hahahahaha. I did this with Lavin too.

(//Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[01 Dec 2009|11:29pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Why will Riley not sleep?!!!
Going crazy over here.

( 2 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[28 Nov 2009|12:58pm]
I'm pretty sure Riley has Colic. He'll cry uncontrollably at times (usually the evening) and there is nothing Jeremy and I can do to comfort him. Needless to say there are times when we'll just put him in his swing and let him cry for a while. This way we can recollect ourselves and what not. My dad got on me for doing this and pretty much made me feel like a piece of shit for it. I flipped out on him. Which brings me to this....

I do believe my depression has significantly worsened since I had Riley. I'm so much more angry. And I feel like any day now I could just lose control. Every time I get upset I just want to punch or throw something. I want to cry all the time too. Even when I'm laughing. I just really want to cry. When I do laugh it's uncontrollable too. It's not like I can see someone for any of this either. After Dec. 4th I won't have insurance anymore. One week with a Psychiatrist and/or Therapist won't do me any good. And I don't have the money to just go. This is bad. Really bad.


Also, sorry I haven't been commenting lately. I have been reading though.
Annnnd it's late but Happy Thanksgiving. Hope everyone had a good one and didn't get too stuffed.

( 1 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[22 Nov 2009|03:11pm]
[ mood | good ]

Riley is one month today.
Time sure does fly.

(//Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[19 Nov 2009|03:03am]
[ mood | good ]

I'm in LOVE with Bon Iver!

( 3 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[13 Nov 2009|08:22pm]
[ mood | okay ]

I baked cookies. Lactation cookies.
And they turned out pretty good. I wasn't sure if they would because of two reasons.
One the ingredients didn't sound too awesome and two I've never baked cookies before. I was amazed when I tried one. Now, let's just hope they work.

I hit a wall with breastfeeding and my supply is suffering because of it. That's why I'm trying these cookies.

I feel like I have no support from Jeremy with breastfeeding. I mean...I know if I asked him if he supported my decision to breastfeed he would say yes but some of his [joking] comments make me think otherwise. Most likely it's just my hormones making me be more sensitive. I don't know. I'm hard on myself about breastfeeding too. And I definitely don't have the patients for it...I'm working on that though.

My boobs get itchy when I'm feeding Riley too.

Lavin got his first hair cut last Saturday. He cried at first but stopped not long after the guy started cutting. He looks so weird now. We are also trying potty training. He only goes pee pee in the potty if he's running around without a diaper or pull up on though. He doesn't tell us he has to go potty if he has something on. It's weird and I can't think of anything to try and get him out of that. We try to bribe him with candy but it doesn't work.

Anyway...
Enjoy some pictures of my babies )

(//Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

10 Reasons Gay Marriage is Wrong [08 Nov 2009|11:12pm]
Taken from OTEPs' blog.


1] Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2] Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3] Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4] Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5] Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6] Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile straight couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7] Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8] Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

9] Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10] Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to the internet, wi-fi, women wearing pants, bi-racial marriage, working women, homogenized milk, GPS units, mobile phones, and MP3 players.

( 1 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[05 Nov 2009|07:32pm]
My boobs are stinging...
This can't be normal.

( 1 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[03 Nov 2009|03:13pm]
[ mood | good ]

I have a headache and my eyes hurt.
Not being able to sleep 6 to 8 hours straight sucks.
I think I may be getting a sinus cold or whatever. Blah.

Anyway, I don't really suck at breastfeeding as I said I did a few days ago. I was just having a hard time that day. Riley wouldn't latch on at all and pumping wasn't going to well either because my milk hadn't come in yet. Him not latching on was discouraging and made me feel very
inadequate. Everything is awesome now though. So yay!

Lavin isn't scared of Riley anymore either. I still won't give him a kiss or hold him but he does come running when Riley starts crying. "What's wrong with baby brother?" is the first thing out of his mouth. It's cute.

We took three of our kitties to the Humane Society yesterday. Sucked. I didn't go in with Jeremy to hand them over because I knew I would cry like a little baby. I still cried just sitting in the car waiting on him. I hope they do ok and find homes. I'm not worried about the kittens but Sophi is already 2 years old which makes me worry she might not get adopted. Then again she's too pretty not to get adopted. Blah. You can definitely feel that the stress level in this house is down though. Which is nice. Very nice.

( 4 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[29 Oct 2009|10:17pm]
So I totally suck at breastfeeding.

The End.

( 2 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[24 Oct 2009|10:33pm]
[ mood | scared ]

I really don't like not know if I should go to the hospital or not.
My contractions are roughly 7 to 10 minutes apart but they hurt so bad!

Ahhhh, I don't like this.

(//Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[24 Oct 2009|06:36pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

These irregular contractions are really starting to piss me off.
Not only are they annoying but they are really uncomfortable at times.

( 1 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[23 Oct 2009|12:51am]
[ mood | anxious ]

OK...one more week. I go back to the OB on Wednesday. Unless he decides to come out before then.
[sigh] I am 1 to 2 centimeters though. I guess that is something to be semi-happy about.

(//Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[20 Oct 2009|08:30pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

Looking at recent pictures of Lindsey Lohan makes me feel better about myself.

Yes! I am one of those people.

( 1 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[19 Oct 2009|01:24am]
[ mood | tired ]

So, I went to the OB Thursday...[I know that was days ago. I'm slacking.] Nothing had changed. I was still 1 cm. and 50%. Blah. I go back this Thursday and if he's not out before then we are going to start talking dates.

I'm hoping he stays put until Wednesday. Tomorrow is my cousins birthday and the 20th is my eldest brothers birthday. I SO don't want to have him on my brothers birthday because I hate dislike him for various reasons. [I don't even refer to him as uncle to Lavin. As a matter of fact I don't even say his name to Lavin. I always use that guy/a guy/some guy. Hm.]

Anyway, we got Lavin a toddler bed the other night and tonight is his first night actually sleeping in it. We actually got it Friday night but he wouldn't stay in bed. So he ended up in his crib again. Tonight we decided to try again. This time though Jeremy laid with him in the toddler bed but Lavin told him to get out. Yes, Lavin didn't want daddy laying in his bed with him, so Jeremy tried letting him lay in bed by himself but that didn't happen. He ended up getting out of bed and playing around like he did the first time. I ended up going in there and laying with him but when he told me to get out I told him no I'm staying right here and we are going to sleep. I think it was around 11:30 when he finally fell asleep and he didn't have a nap today either. That boy could go all night if we were to let him.

( 1 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[09 Oct 2009|07:24pm]
[ mood | good ]

Went to the doctor today. I'm 1cm but not thinned at all. She stripped my membranes too. So things could start happening. Maybe. We'll see.


I'm SO hot. OMG!

The end.

( 2 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[07 Oct 2009|01:35pm]
[ mood | good ]

Ok, so I suck at updating about our trip.
Right now though I'm trying to get things ready for the new little man. We still don't have a name picked out. Still have a lot of clothes to wash and find a place for. A lot of cleaning needs to be done. I'm so stressing over all of this too. I hate not being able to do much and having to ask Jeremy for so much. I feel bad. I feel like I have to ask him to do something or help me do something every five seconds. He already does so much.
And on top of all this, my dad keeps talking about how the cats need to find new homes and how they should just go to the Humane Society. That just adds more stress to my plate. After going on that two week trip with my dad I need a good two weeks away from my dad. Lol.

I guess since I'm already on here I'll post some pictures from Boston. We were only there for one night. We got there sometime in the afternoon though.

Boston )

Ok, I'm going to go try and get some things done. Wish me luck! Lol.

( 1 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[02 Oct 2009|06:25am]
[ mood | okay ]

6:25 am. I'm up and can't get my brain to shut up and I can go back to sleep, so I thought why not up date my journal.

First off yesterday I had a doctors appointment with my OB and I ended up being sent to the L&D because of my blood pressure. Yay. It was 140 something over 94. :\ Of course though when I get to the hospital everything is fine. They monitored my pressure and every time it was taken it was normal. I didn't have any protein in the pee either. Though my doctor is still having me do a 24 hour urine collection. I hate doing those.

As for the trip...
We first went to Pennsylvania to stay with my Uncle Rob. We stayed for about 3 days. Lavin had a blast because my Uncle lives in Altoona and that's like the city of trains. Er, something. Lol. Anyway, we went to Horseshoe Curve, The Railroaders Memorial Museum, Roaring Springs, and The Wall. The Wall is a replica of the national monument for the Vietnam Memorial in D.C. for anyone who didn't know. We also went Antiquing, which sucks with a 2 year old. We constantly had to tell him not to touch, just look. We tried teaching him "hands" where he would hold his hands behind his back. Works for about 5 minutes when we say it. Lol.

Pictures from PA )

I was going to update about the whole trip but after posting all those pictures I figured it would be best to break it up into different posts. That way ya'lls friend list gets a break and so do my fingers. Lol.

Also )

8:15...That took forever.

( 1 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[28 Sep 2009|09:45pm]
So we got back from our trip yesterday evening. I know I should post about it but right now I really don't feel like it. We have a lot of pictures that I will be posting...I just don't know when.

( 1 # //Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

[21 Sep 2009|05:58pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

So our visit to Maine has just turned into a giant stress bubble. My father is acting like a child. We got here yesterday around 3 and got settled into the motel then headed over to my fathers old Navy buddy, Pete's house. Ever since then my father has been a drunken douche bag. He got up at 8 this morning to go drink. After being up until 1am or so drinking beer after beer. Dude, this is not what we signed up for. We don't want Lavin around that at all. Luckily he isn't here at the Motel room right now being stupid. He's trying to get Jeremy to come get him from Pete's but Jeremy won't go get him because of the state he is in. Hopefully Pete won't bring him here. Jeremy tried to talk to Pete on the phone about him staying there for now but dad kept interrupting with stupid comments.

The only good thing about all this is that he ended up leaving his credit card with us, so he treated us to a nice afternoon and he going to continue to treat us to whatever we may want.

Yay Maine!

Hope everyone else is having a lovely week so far.

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